it’s difficult to get out of pornobation’s grip

(watching porn and masturbating)

every time you masturbate with any kind of focused attention on any sexualized imaginations, fantasies or images (persons/videos/pictures) then you make that bond of what you focus on stronger and stronger…

…it’s like applying super glue again and again to something you actually want UNSTUCK

“you say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. and even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything

run from sexual sin! no other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. for sexual immorality is a sin against your own body”

1Cor 6:12+18 

SIN is ‘to miss the mark’

like an archer who shoots an arrow and the arrow does not hit the target

it’s to violate our body’s original purpose. we actually need to know how to use our body’s abilities and energy according to the purposes God had in mind for our physical biology

 how to

STOP

pornobation

With ‘submit to God’s Voice’ I don’t mean READ your Bible more, Pray more, go to Church more or get more counselling…

I really mean to realize God’s voice speaking to you or convincing you of something you are about to do… is doing or did in the past that’s sexually immoral. (Porneia)

It is usually an unction or a small conscience ‘knowing’ that something I’m about to do or busy doing is destructive for me or someone else! 

when you experience this, you have two choices!

IGNORE His Voice

or Submit to His ways

When you submit…

He expect you to:

ask help from a Godly counselor who can really help with a sexual addiction or had experiences like yours but already overcame it

commit yourself to, ask a trustworthy mentor who can help you throughout your journey of overcoming this addiction. you will need your dad or a trustworthy adult man (if you’re a teen) or a brother (in Christ) to rely on when things really get difficult, and it usually does get worse before it gets better

be ACCOUNTABLE

be accountable and you will benefit from it. there cannot be any secrets or lies about the hidden agenda’s or things we did

it will be humiliating and scary to open up the thoughts and actions only we knew about. it’s the secrets that haunt and entice us to keep walking in darkness and lustful ways and feel shameful about our lives

if we walk voluntary in openness and confession with one another, we can experience real fellowship and healing. this will cause all other relationships to become better as well

COMPLETELY STOP contact with pornography

this includes every kind of soft- or hardcore porn, all pictures, stories, animations, music and your friends that might watch or talk about it

block and delete every kind of media and messages you stored or received. clean up everything that was connected or stored on any device

then get software or an app that filter and block explicit material on your devices

it’s better to have someone else (your dad or accountability partner etc.) to manage the app or blocker for you. if the program or app has internet time limits and daily time limit usage, then set it up to block everything online at your vulnerable times when you usually engage in pornography, videos etc.

see the following accountability programs

Accountable2You Covenant Eyes  ScreenTime EverAccountable

RENEW your mind

we need the best available information about the addiction, your shame cycle and ways to get out of the physical, emotional and spiritual bondage

partaking in pornobation over months or years will form strong patterns and pathways in our brains and in our psychological processes and coping mechanisms on how to handle stress, our need for relaxation, how to cope with boredom or loneliness, our emotional and physical need for comfort, our sexual drive and desire for sexual pleasure or the need to escape from uncomfortable circumstances. we will skip learning life skills that usually takes effort, time, engagement with others and energy to learn, but we usually just go for the fast, available and quick fix of pornobation

NORMALIZE masturbating

at first it will not be easy to stop pornobation. it will also depend on how long you normally engage in pornography or other sexual acting out

you might find that you cannot masturbate without pornography. (you don’t get erect enough or it does not have the same effect as with porn) this is very normal and will pass away after a while. don’t fall back because you think something went wrong… it’s almost like your brain and body must ‘reset’ to normal again

for most young and older man it will be difficult to stop masturbation at once

there are those who can do it and we honor your effort and success, then there are others like me that took a while to get out of the habit

refer to ‘struggling with masturbation‘ for a more detailed explanation

CONTRIBUTE

your journey and the things you went through to overcome will benefit and help others who are still struggling and want to get out

you can be the best help and accountability partner for such a person or friend because of your own experiences. don’t be afraid to speak about your successes and failures. we all benefit from each other

“don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? don’t fool yourselves. those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.  

some of you were once like that!

but you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God”

1Cor 6:9-11

see how to CONFESS ADULTERY

TEENS, if possible

talk to your parents about your struggle

they also were young and probably struggled with the same things you do

if not possible at all

or you’re an adult, then search a Godly counselor or mentor and ask the Holy Spirit to help you find someone trustworthy

in the following examples you must be vigilant and take extra care about your thoughts, triggers and how you spend your time…

triggers

when you experience triggers

memories of past sexual activities, pornobation sessions, fantasies, people etc. that normally kicked your sexual responses into action and started you of to plan and engage in sexually acting out

abstaining

after a long period of abstaining

when your testosterone levels feel totally overwhelming and you just want to experience that sexual pleasure and relieve it produced in the past or you just want to make sure everything is working properly down there after abstaining for so long

pressure

you might justify yourself

to escape and just relax and take some time out of this pressure during exams, tests, difficult commitments, or any other related situations that cause extra pressure and stress

after

right after times of extra pressure and stress

you might justify a reward for yourself or it might be that you can relax now and drop your guard. after can also be after the 1st initial acting out again when you give yourself the excuse that it happened now, so why not go ahead and do it some more before i will stop again

boredom

when boredom creeps in

during weekends or holidays when you don’t have a set program, responsibilities or other things to keep you busy with

longing

those overwhelming emotional longing

for that ‘best intimate friend’ you spend time with and had sex with anytime you needed a fix. if we quit pornobation, it’s like our best friend died and every now and again we deeply long for that ‘relationship’ again. morn it but don’t revive this ‘friend’ because it did more harm than good

emotions

during emotional difficulties or depression

you just want to feel something exiting again or to escape difficult situations you actually need to face and work through

dreams

after sexual lustful dreams

these enticing dreams will trigger your sexual drive and fantasies into acting out again.

there can be more vulnerable times for you

this is some common ones you need to know about and make the necessary precautions beforehand

Cyberbullying, Sextortion, Sexual Grooming, Gaming & Inappropriate online Content HERE

important!

it might see and feel overwhelming

BUT if you can manage going through a tough season like this, you will experience more and more freedom

the difficult situations and challenges you are facing and working through during this process will mostly pass away. the intensity of it will decrease and it will get easier, even to a place where you never want to return or be enticed with this harmful addictions again

let me pray with you

Father God in Heaven, thank You for this man and the abilities You have already placed in him

thank You for the enabling energy, courage and wisdom that will bring freedom and success into his future!

Father I ask that You protect and help this man when he finds himself in vulnerable times or places, give him a road out so that he can experience Your goodness every day!

i bless you with an increase of discernment from God to enable you to make the right choices and your next generation’s future!

i bless you in your manhood to grow in maturity of emotions, character and the ability to rule and be in control as God ordained men to do

i bless your sexual development and to become a sexually pure man without being stuck in sexual immorality of this sexualized culture we live in.

thank You Father that You are inviting / invited this man into sonship with You

Father in Heaven, we thank you for taking the time and effort to discipline us and help us mature into responsible man!

Amen